Exploring the Infinite Abyss...

I visited Meagan and Melinda today... and it was great. I came to a realization of many things regarding my faith, my love, and my life. Reading Melinda's paper on Taoism and Catholicism, watching Garden State, and talking amongst people that care about you can really do a lot of good... and I found that out tonight.

Melinda's paper proved to me how important faith is when it comes to dealing with the negativity of life. Life brings many obstacles toward us, but with faith, nothing should be able to knock anyone down. It's been proven to me before, but hearing it from someone that just seems happy most of the time, it makes perfect sense. Now I know Melinda's secret! I believe that my lack of faith in myself and many things has contributed to the problems that seem to lurk around my life. I seem to look down upon myself and let insecurities take control of my actions, which in turn, leads to hurting others... one person in particular. I guess I had my faith focused on the God in others that I had forgot to leave some of that faith for myself...

Garden State is a great movie when one really pays attention to what is going on and tries to put their shoes in the movie. Relating to the man just seemed so natural, being stuck in such a world that is so plain and lifeless. Without her, that's how life seems... I'm almost "numb" to everything. The way that the shirt that his aunt gave him blended in with the wall depicts my life right now without love from her. I need to break out of that and "explore the infinite abyss" that lies ahead of me. If anything, the innocence that I talked about in the previous entry is what will get me out of my misery, just as the girl got the guy out of his growing misery. As this storm of lifelessness crashes down upon me, I need to have faith in others and myself to find the ark that will bring me to simple happiness. The simplicity of the guy in the ark's happiness is what we all really look for, and that's what I strive for... but I need faith. The guy finally put faith in his pothead friend, who in turn lead him to the ark. Maybe I need to let my guard down as well, and trust others. It just need to "Let Go." Without his friend's help, the guy would of never found the simple happiness. The girl's innocence and playfulness reminds me of how simple it is to be happy, how easy and effortless it is to be happy. That made me come to the conclusion that I need to stop trying so hard because that has lead me to disaster. Water, being the main source of life and cleansing in the movie, is a reminder for me to stop moaping around and just be my happy self: to not let m sorrow get the best of me and have fun with life. Yes, I feel horrible about my situation, but that cannot stop me from living the rest of my life. I have to keep searching and exploring for that ark that waits for me in the infinite abyss...

I'm glad that I have friends to help me weather this storm. I'm blessed with so many kind souls that are willing to help a friend in need. Thank God for those who have been Jesus to me and help me realize how much I am really worth. I cannot express my gratitude enough... for those who care... I love you all.